If you want to hurt me, go for it...

I have never understood people who behave one way around this person and another way around that person. For example, those people who teach one way when it is just their class and a completely different way when they are being evaluated by the principal. I believe you should teach at the highest level every day so if a principal were to come in at random, you wouldn't have to change a thing and you would still receive high marks. I believe this applies to every job. At one time, when I worked at a national grocery store, a coworker told me (with much anxiety) that the boss was coming to see the Deli we worked in. My response? "Oh. Well I don't care. I'm doing things the way they are supposed to be done."

To me, when you act differently around different people, one of those seems less genuine to who you really are. When you are the same person to everybody, people know where they stand with you. Have you ever been around someone who was in a fit of rage and then the phone rang and they answered, "Hello?" in the kindest way possible? You then say to yourself, "Wait. Who are you? What did you do with that person I was just talking to?" One would think this borders on being bipolar. Simply put, it's hard to identify where you stand with this person. A quality of a great leader is that their followers always know where they stand.

Craig Groeschel has a saying that, "People can smell a fake from a mile away." As in the picture above, one must speak and act the same way inside the bubble as on the outside. A true leader is transparent with their followers and because vulnerability begets vulnerability, followers then become transparent with their leaders.

Let me offer a caution: Only show glimpses of vulnerability. When you show deep vulnerability for too long, it becomes easier for others to interpret incorrectly. Make sure that it's a group of people and not just one person. When a leader shows vulnerability, you have to do everything you can to protect yourself to lead others in the future. The reason that you don't show vulnerability in long periods of time or in individual circumstances is that vulnerability can sometimes be perceived as romantic feelings. Followers cannot have these feelings for their leaders and vice versa because it directly affects the influence on the rest of the followers. In short, you will lose your influence and if you lose your influence, you will no longer be a leader. It is not worth it.

I will say this: I have chosen to be vulnerable in risky situations a handful of times. A couple of times, I have prayed with students who were in tears. Now, because I am a leader doesn't mean I can't pray with students. It's because I'm a teacher that makes it risky. I would never push my faith on a student, though if I knew they had a faith, in desperate times, I would point them in direction of their faith.

In those times, it must be crystal clear that this is the right thing to do and then I trust in Christ to keep me safe. I normally don't include faith in my leadership blogs, but I have to show you the why behind my thinking, as well as be vulnerable with you and show you transparency.

Questions: 1.) Describe a time when a leader you had was vulnerable with you. What was the conversation about? How did it change the relationship?

2.) What time of the day can you show a glimpse of vulnerability? Do it. Reflect back on this and see how, your relationship with those people you were vulnerable with, has changed.

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