How Your Gender Screws Up Leadership...
The number one thing that drives me nuts in leadership is when I hear particularly women complain that they would be respected more if they were a man. They will say things like, "Kids listen better to you if you're a man." or "These employees wouldn't pull that if I were a man." or "Just wait until your father gets home." I don't know about you, but I personally think there's nothing worse than a woman scorn. I have made a lot of women mad (like, if I had a nickel for every time, well...I'd have a lot of nickels) and also angered a handful of men as well. Women almost always have a higher gear of anger that scares the dickens out of people. You and I know that "The Look" undoubtedly came from a woman. The point that I am making is that women have a "scary angry" factor on unknown levels that should promote others to listen to them, or else. What these examples show you is that anger has nothing to do with being an effective leader. The fear of anger is not a motivating enough force to cause meaningful or lasting change. Sure, it may make you think twice, but ultimately change comes from a resolve within you that there is a better path to take. (continued below)
I have heard women say that it is something in a mans voice which makes others listen. This may be true, but I think they are referencing shouting or being stern. In this case, of course men seem heard better. If a woman shouts or comes across as authoritarian, men and other women tune out. Look at Hillary Clinton. When she talks at a town hall forum, she sounds nice and intelligent. But when she shouts at a debate or a rally, it's hard to listen to. It comes off as an intelligent form of nagging. So what is the best mentality to lead when considering gender? One only needs to ask Bill Hybels, Pastor of Willow Creek Community Church. Hybels asks himself "What would a great leader do in this situation?" Then act accordingly. A great leader would not blame their gender. A great leader would not wait to pass a problem on to someone else. A great leader listens to their people and works on their behalf. This causes the people to work on the leaders behalf. If you are married to someone who feels insecure about their leadership and the leadership is usually deferred to you, remember that great leaders support their spouse. Great leaders never undermine their spouse or discuss disagreements in public. Great leaders never talk about the inequality they face, they speak of the inequality others face. We will face many obstacles as leaders but our job as leaders is to find solutions, not make excuses. There may be legitimate reasons why it is hard for you to lead those around you. Some manageable, some insurmountable. So....lead them. So? Lead them. Questions to ask yourself: 1. What role does gender play in my leadership?
2. Have I ever made my gender an excuse not to participate in leadership?
3. Who is the greatest leader of my own gender that I know? Who is the greatest leader of the opposite gender? What traits do they have in common.
4. What traits do these great leaders have that I also have?
By the way, I, Adam Christie wrote this article. I was told by women that it would mean more coming from a woman because I would not understand what a woman goes through. So I changed the name of the author to see if you accepted this more because you thought it was written by a woman.
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