How to be a victim...
- Adam Christie
- Mar 8, 2016
- 3 min read
Donald Trump says he wants to stop Muslims from coming into this country. He said that Mexico sends over their drug dealers and rapists and when the former President of Mexico said that they will not build or pay for an "f***ing" wall between the U.S. and Mexico Border, Donald Trump wanted an apology and played the victim.
A victim is defined as (1) : one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions (a victim of cancer) (a victim of the auto crash) (a murder victim) (2) : one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment (a frequent victim of political attacks) Everyone can be or play a victim, but not everyone does. See, there's a difference between being a victim and acting as a victim, even though you may legitimately be a victim.
Someone who acts like a victim has some or all of the following traits: Circle the ones, if any, that apply to you.
Blaming others for a situation that you created or contributed to.
Failing or being unwilling to take responsibility for your own actions.
Ascribing non-existent negative intentions to other people.
Believing that other people are generally or fundamentally luckier and happier.
Gaining short-term pleasure from feeling sorry for yourself or seeking pity from others.
Eliciting sympathy by telling exaggerated stories about bad deeds of other people (e.g. during gossip).
Develop convincing and sophisticated arguments in support of your ideas of others, which you then use to convince yourself and others of their victim status.
People with victim mentality may also be generally negative.
A glass that is half full is considered half empty.
My guess is that as you were reading this list, names of people were coming to your mind. Many people are victims of themselves. Self-destruction. So I hate to sound harsh, but you can be a victim or just act like a victim and most people will treat you as a victim. But you can't be a victim and a victor at the same time. You have to give up on one to do the other. Sure you can say, "I was a victim, but now I'm Victorious." but you cannot say, "I am a victim and I am victorious" unless your goal is to be a victim.
Being a victim is not the tragedy, the tragedy is the loss of potential as you are or behave as a victim. If you feel you are a victim and want to become victorious, here are some tips: 1. Set a goal. 2. Have a positive attitude. 3. You must take responsibility for anything that prevents you from achieving that goal.
4. Your determination to handle situations well must supersede your need to get affirmation of your victim status.
5. Find the big and small things to be grateful for.
Questions for you: 1. Am I a victim of someone else or myself?
2. Which of my closest friends could I trust to ask them if they think I see myself as a victim?
3. There is a fine line between a victim and a martyr and some behave as if they are a living martyr. Are you going to become victorious or continue the impossible quest of being a living martyr, looking for recognition and vindication for your actions and the actions of others?
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